thoughts

I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Alone, afraid, empty.

Everyday I wake up with weakness in my heart, 

Not wanting to get up so I don't have to feel this way. 

But I don't have a choice. I convice myself that I will get throught this.

Most days its true but others its like I'm all out of strength to go on for the rest of the day.

The same feeling everyday takes so much out of me. 

Some days it takes a while for me to put on a smile and 

keep pretending I'm okay. I can fool others will of my pretending, but

I still don't know how to convince myself. 

My hope is distant and my faith is so far gone, I don't know that I'll ever get it back. 

I would rather feel nothing than this emptiness and pain.

I have felt this way for so long that I don't remember what joy and peace feel like.

The worst part is not remembering the person I used to be and 

NOT recognizing who I have become.